Happy Halloween!!

We hosted our first fall/halloween bash this past Saturday! We had a blast! Everyone brought an appetizer to share and we provided beverages. We had about thirty people in our little house which included the kids. I love that everyone dressed up and had creative costumes. Here is a peak of the costumes.. oops for some reason I did not get a picture of my OWN children!

You got lemons, make lemonade vodkas

This post is just me venting - I normally do not vent about this topic or try to feel sorry for myself. Because there is really no reason too!

Tyler had his three evaluation and IEP meeting on Tuesday. This is a big meeting for him since he will be entering high school next year. I am going to have a kid in high school? That is not possible? There is a lot of transition that our family will be dealing with during this school year.
It started out with me having to fill out four packets/questionnaires about him. They varied from life skills, community, blah blah. That is how I felt after i spent over an hour filling these out. With no help from the other adult in my house! I'm not angry at him but maybe just a little frustrated! I actually had to leave the house for an hour because I was so overwhelmed and knew that this meeting would not be an easy one.

The meeting was on Tuesday. Typically I go to all conferences by myself since Ron is working. That is fine most times but not yesterday. Besides me filling out these questions, Tyler's teacher along with the school psychologist had to do testing with him. So this was not an easy process for all involved including Tyler.
Tyler is doing a great job and there has been progression since his last testing from three years ago. He has jumped up a grade level and a half!
Which means he has a comprehension/academic level of a second or third grader. Academically he is where Mira is. I knew this day would come where they would be at the same level. It is something that for years I have heard from the parent support groups that if you have another children at some point they will surpass your autistic child. This we knew based on homework that he works on and Mira works on. But it sorta hits you even harder when professionals are telling you this and you have come to that place!

I felt as though I was hit on the side of my head with a bat, it hurt that bad!!! I haven't felt like this for about 10 years when we found out that Tyler was autistic.
I guess I really did not know where our life would be at this point having an autistic child. Looking inside it looks great to others - Tyler has progressed so much socially, verbally. He seems just like a typical teenager. He is not a typical teenager.
The fact of the matter is Tyler will not be getting his license at 16, he will never play on a "real" sports team, he will never have the type of friends that we had when we were in high school or ever, will a pretty girl ask him to a dance or parties? He will be in high school until he is 21, we will become his guardians at 18, he will go on SSI, he will live in a monitored home or apt situation. And his sister will have to take over our role when we are gone! The other day Tyler was talking about the car he wants to buy when he is 16 and gets his license. I looked at him and said "Tyler I do not think that you will get your license at 16 because you are autistic... he looked at me and said why is life so much harder for me?" That broke my heart! he has never said anything like that before. Autism is such an invisible disability! That is the reality that we face with Tyler as he enters high school. I am not feeling excitement but panic as i think of his future.
I really feel we have been cheated at times and I feel as though Tyler has been cheated!
I was so angry the other night I mentioned to Ron. - Do you think since he was stuck in the birth canal for about three hours that is why he is autistic? There are just days that I want some answers? Why Tyler, why us, how did this happen?

Enough with my pity party! My son is happy, he loves life, he has a family that loves him and he loves his family, he fights with his sister, he loves music, movies, he just joined the yearbook club and is hoping to "attend" basketball practices with the eighth grade team, he loves to swim, go to the cabin, go on vacations, he saw U2 in concert. He has his LIFE. That is what we focus on day to day with Tyler. That is why you never hear me talk the way that I have in this blog. I am so thankful for Tyler and what he has brought to our family. I have my son. There are many parents today that are in the hospital saying good bye to their son or daughter.
I have the right to feel angry but that will not get me anywhere. We have to continue to move forward and expose Tyler to the world. Love him and support him.
No matter what we all have obstacles that we deal with as parents some will be easier than others. Roads that we did not want to walk down. No matter what road we walk, we have to walk it together with our children disabled or not disabled.
I am thankful for my family and friends who are part of this journey with us!

Talk about some good therapy!

I read this poem years ago when i was in my MOPS group:

Welcome To Holland
by
Emily Perl Kingsley


I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It’s just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

* * *

Apple Crisp

What is a girl to do with all these apples? Remember the $500 of apples we bought at the orchard. Well not $500 but it felt like that with all the apples coming out of my kitchen!
I made the best apple Crisp ever. I will share the recipe below.
I also made a very tasty Apple Bread. I did not take a picture of the bread - oops! I adapted that recipe from Two Peas and Pod if you are curious.
I also made Apple Donut Muffins. I decided to be healthy and modify a few things. Not a good idea! They were gross! Anything that has "donut" in it let's just say should not be modified. I found that recipe at Barbara Bakes. Please do not make any changes! Keep the recipe as is!

The apple crisp recipe is the BEST I have ever made. I think i may have mentioned that earlier. This recipe is from Joy The Baker. The combination of spices was perfect. It has a nice amount of apples that you use on the bottom and the crisp was just DELISH!
Serve it with some vanilla frozen yogurt and you will have a happy mouth!


Bake in an 8×8 baking dish or double the recipe and bake in a 9×13 dish

Filling:
5 to 6 medium-size apples, peeled, cored and cut into 1/4-inch slices. (About 7.5 cups)
3 tbsp granulated sugar
1.5 tsp cinnamon

Topping:
1 1/3 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/3 cups lightly packed brown sugar
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1 stick unsalted butter, well-softened
2/3 cup finely chopped pecans (optional)
1/3 cup quick oats

Preheat the oven to 350. Generously grease an 8×8 baking pan with butter.

Place a layer of apple slices in the bottom of the pan and dust with sugar/cinnamon mixture. Continue layering apples and dusting with cinnamon/sugar until done. Toss the apple mixture until evenly coated in cinnamon sugar. The apples should be just about to the top of the pan (they will cook down).

For the topping, place the flour, brown sugar, nuts, cinnamon and oats in a large bowl and stir well with a wooden spoon. Work the butter into the mixture with your fingertips until evenly distributed. Take one full handful of the topping and toss it into the sugared apple mixture. Spread the rest of the topping evenly over the apples. (I usually end up with a dough-like topping that I just lay on top of the apples).

Bake the crisp in the dish on a baking sheet on the center oven rack until the topping is crunchy and the apples are bubbling, 55-60 minutes.

Serve hot; it’s excellent with vanilla ice cream.

Source: Joy The Baker

Corn and Black Bean Quinoa

It has been awhile since I posted a recipe! I have so many to share with you that are just fantastic!
I made this sometime in August. This is how far behind I am with sharing recipes! This side dish was DELISH!

This one is adapted from The Closet Cooking:
Here is his recipe:

Ingredients:
1 cup red quinoa ( I used regular quinoa)
2 cups water
1 cup black beans
1 ear corn (grilled and kernels cut from cob) ( I used Trader Joe's Roasted Corn)
1/2 red pepper (sliced)
1 jalapeno pepper (sliced)
1 green onion (sliced)
1/4 cup cilantro (chopped)
1 tablespoon oil
1 lime (juice)
1 chipotle in adobo sauce (chopped)
1 teaspoon cumin
salt and pepper to taste

Directions:
1. Simmer the quinoa in the water until the water is absorbed, about 20 minutes.
2. Mix the quinoa, black beans, corn, red pepper, jalapeno, green onion, and cilantro in a large bowl.
3. Mix the oil, lime juice, chipotle in adobo sauce, cumin, salt and pepper in a small bowl.
4. Toss the salad in the dressing.

This salad was so tasty and full of flavor. You can eat it as a meal or use it as a side dish with a variety of foods! it was even better the next day. I'm thinking that I will need to add this to this week's menu!

Happy Eating!